
When we are watching movies, my kids often ask “Who is the good guy?” and “Who is the bad guy?” When they were very little, it was a pretty straightforward answer regarding the two roles because that is how the shows were developed…very simple and clear-cut. Now, that they are getting older, the answers aren’t as simple. For instance, we were watching Hoodwinked Too last week. One of the “bad guys” (actually it was a woman) turned out to be misguided but a really good person who helped to rescue several of the heroes of the film at the end. Sean (my 4 year old) was a bit confused, “So, was she a good guy or a bad guy?” he earnestly asked at the end…trying to make sense of it all in his little head. I explained to him that the character was neither all good nor all bad. She had done some bad things, but basically she was a good person. Then, I tried to help him understand it on his 4 year old level by relating it to his life. “You know…it’s kind of like how sometimes you and Michael do bad things to each other, but overall you two are really good brothers to each other.” After pointing out that Michael does more bad things to him than vice versa, Sean was ready to move on. He got the point. In real life, people don’t usually slip easily into one box. People and situations are more complex than that. Why am I writing about this on my “bloggity blog” rather than on my main blog? After an incident that happened in New York this past week, I think that it’s good to remember this truth when it comes to blogger/brand relationships. There is always room to learn and grow…on both sides.
This is basically what happened: A brand invited a group of bloggers to dine at Sotto Terra, an underground restaurant. The bloggers were also able to give away two dinner seats to a reader if they chose to do so. (The second part was optional.) Here’s what the invite looked like:

There were various dinner dates spanning over several days. I just so happened to be invited to the first night. The evening was going along wonderfully. The townhouse that the meal was held in was gorgeous. George Duran was warm and engaging. His strawberry-apple sangria was refreshing and the meal that he prepared was delicious. I love to learn so I was especially drawn to Phil Lempert. He knows so much about food and shared his knowledge in such a helpful manner that I was scribbling down notes about organics, CSAs, food deserts and more. Equally important, the event managed to do something that is rare – it had complete strangers bonding over food memories. We were all at a large family-style table and were sharing about our food concerns, favorite foods and favorite childhood food memories. It was great. Everyone was happy and the plates were being taken away clean because everyone ate up everything.
Now, it is the ending of the night that has set some bloggers off and twitter astir. At the end, there were a couple of giveaways. One was George’s book. The last one was the box for Marie Callender’s new lasagna…it turned out that in the midst of the things (sangria, stuffed endives, gazpacho, strawberry arugula salad, herbed cheesy garlic bread and a mojito granita shot) that were actually prepared by George Duran, the main course (lasagna) and dessert (razzleberry pie) were Marie Callender’s frozen goods! You should have seen the reaction (that was privately being taped). We were all shocked. You could have knocked us over with a feather, because we never saw that coming. Personally, I found it hilarious. I turned to my friend who came with me and said, “Oh my gosh…I feel like Justin Timberlake on Punk’d!” (I didn’t almost cry/totally lose my street cred for a minute though…but that’s another commentary.) In any event, from what I observed (and I could totally be wrong/people could have went home and had totally different reactions) the group on my night thought that it was a fun way for MC to prove their point that their new lasagna was as good as homemade lasagna. (I couldn’t stop teasing my Italian friend for not knowing the difference though…he grew up on his grandmother’s authentic Italian food!)
Unfortunately, the fun and laughter ended on the second night. From that night on, the mom bloggers (whom I know that went) did not find it funny at all…they were peeved! I get it. I do. See, my husband doesn’t especially like Italian food, so he didn’t come to the dinner. Rather, I went with a girlfriend. We had a blast. Now, if it had been a special date (which are hard to come by) and I had paid a babysitter (which is expensive in NYC) and the primary goal of my attendance was to enjoy an exclusive, pop-up restaurant then I probably would have been upset too. It all goes back to the brand knowing their audience. I’ll also add a couple of more things in regards to knowing your audience. One, in addition to being mom bloggers, these were NYC mom bloggers. As I tweeted, simply by virtue of living in New York, we are often invited to events where celebrity chefs actually do cook (entire) meals for us. Although I was tickled, it’s easy to see why so many others were not. Lastly, outside of the whole mom/NYC factors, it just didn’t make logical sense to invite some of the “foodies” that were invited. If a blogger only writes about homemade or high quality restaurant food, then why in the world would you invite them to a frozen food surprise reveal? I don’t get it.
A few other things were also brought up by my fellow bloggers as points of contention:
1. -Bait and switch tactics: I normally HATE bait and switch marketing. I have been trying to figure out why this particular instance didn’t bother me. I think that it’s because it wasn’t arbitrary…it was a part of proving their point. As one of my (non-blogging) guests mentioned, “The brand proved their point. People only got upset after they found out that it was MC. It’s obvious that they would not have given the product a fair shake if they would have known what it was from the start.”
2. -Taping the dinner without prior consent: Although the video isn’t being used for commercial purposes and diners had the option of not signing the release, I just don’t think that was a great idea.
3. -Involving the bloggers’ readers in on the trick with the giveaway: I totally agree with this criticism. If as bloggers/writers/etc. we decide to go to an event, then that is on us. Offering the opportunity to one of our readers (whose primary motivation would have been to visit the exclusive restaurant) is another. At the end of the day, bloggers are responsible for what we put on our blogs/offer our readers…but it would also be really helpful if brands didn’t put stumbling blocks in our paths. (This is yet another reason that I’m not as peeved. My giveaway winner got stuck in “earthquake traffic” from NJ to NY, so they were not able to make it to the dinner after all. I never thought that I would have been happy about earthquake traffic!)
So those are my thoughts on the brand side. After the fact, what can be done? A sincere apology to those who were upset, an offer to reimburse the babysitting fees of those who felt duped and learning from the missteps all come to mind. (One mom mentioned that her husband would have been happier if they had received some MC gift certificates at the end of the night too. Obviously, he liked the food/just not the guise.)
Normally, this is where the blogging post from the blogger’s side is supposed to end. Bad, bad brand. However, I’m not finished. We bloggers have to take responsibility for the part that we played in this drama too. If you look at the original invite, the brand actually did live up to everything that they promised. Amy (Selfish Mom) wrote a good post about tricking bloggers/bloggers knowing what we are getting into. Did the bloggers who attended the event have a right to be peeved? Absolutely. Was it this whole "big bad brand trying to take advantage of poor little vulnerable bloggers" that some people are making it out to be on twitter and facebook? Personally, I don’t think so. (There have been instances when I have felt that way about particular brand/blogger relations, but this is definitely not one of them.)
From my point of view, I think that too much thought and effort went into preparing this event to just summarily dismiss it as such. I felt badly for my blogging friends who had a negative experience, but I also felt badly for the pr people who worked so hard on this event. I read one of their tweets that talked about them feeling low and I immediately thought, “Awww man. I really hope that it’s not related to this Sotto Terra business.” I think that the brand made several mistakes…but they are not the “bad guys” by any stretch of the imagination. Ultimately, we bloggers are the gatekeepers for our blogs. If something slips through that we don’t like, then we need to learn from the experience, vent (if desired) and then be more alert as we move forward.
We (bloggers and the brand folks) are all human. We all make mistakes. I have made many in the past. I’m sure that I will make many more in the future. (Sorry to break it to you, but so will you.) My husband constantly accuses me of being a Pollyanna though, so what do you think? (I admit it...I am a "cup half full" type of person. I get it from my mama...and I like it!) From what you have read, do you think that this was deliberate trickery on the part of the brand, that it was a good idea with some faulty execution or something in the middle? What do you think that brands can learn from this? What do you think that bloggers can learn from this?
In any event, we can all learn and grow from such situations and keep moving forward. Now, I’m going to get ready for some natural drama. "Come on, Irene..."
Post image courtesy of hoodwinkedtoomovie.com
*I changed the word "debacle" to "incident" in the title, because I think that is more accurate. (I don't think that the event was a complete failure or a fiasco. There were too many great aspects to label it as such.)